Hollywood Adventure!
by Miss Interrogative
Summary: Nny wins a trip to Hollywood and gets to bring along three friends. Watch Johnny brave a city he so utterly despises!
1. Chapter 1

Just something fun I worked on one random night. Don't yell at me for grammatical errors, I'm too lazy to read over it XP. Oh and yes, this is my first fic so don't scare me. Reviews would be nice, too. Jhonen Vasquez owns JTHM and all such characters, not me.

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The Prize

Johnny sprawled comfortably on his old filthy floor. He was scrawling away in his diary about his day. The usual. New victims brought in to rot in his underground labyrinth, some people staring at him as he walked to the convenience store to buy himself a cherry fizz wiz, and he saw a camel crossing the street by his home. You know, the usual. The voices had settled and only silence loomed in the small room. Just as Johnny lost himself in his writing, a strange knocking sounded from the door.

"What the hell _IS_that intolerable noise?!" Nny yelled to himself out loud.

"Someone is at the door," Mr. Eff said as he walked into the room alongside D-boy. He looked as irritated as Nny did by the ringing.

"The door? I still have a door?" Nny asked confused.

"Fuck! Answer it and make it stop! Deal with whoever is there or something. We were just in the middle of that new soap opera," D-boy replied angrily.

Nny got up from the floor and looked out of the boarded up window to see who was outside. It man dressed in a formal tuxedo and a plastic smile was out there holding some balloons. Nny picked up an old rusty knife that was laying against the wall, hid it behind his back, and steadily opened the door.

"…helllllllllllo…?"

"Well hello there! Is this Johnny C.?" the man in the tuxedo asked. His voice was loud, excited, and obnoxious.

"Who the hell are you?!"

"I'm here to inform you that you have just won the Happy Man Company Drawing grand prize! An extravagant trip to Hollywood!! You and three of your lucky friends will be getting a trip the city of lights, stay there for three days and two nights ALL FOR FREE!!!"

"………."

"Er, oh and these balloons are for you!" the man exclaimed handing Nny the big batch of balloons. Nny took them awkwardly.

"……….."

"Who is it?" Mr. Eff whispered from behind Nny and D-boy.

"Yes! We won! We won! I told you that entering that contest would pay off!" D-boy whispered back happily. "Nny, you fool, tell him you accept!!"

Johnny's eyes grew wide as he heard his two voices talking behind him.

"Uh, would you excuse me for a moment?" Nny asked politely. He quickly slammed the door before the man said anything. He turned around suddenly, released the balloons, and, put his hands to his hips, glared at Mr. Eff and D-boy.

"Oh come on, don't tell us you're _angry_ that you won," Mr. Eff said pitifully.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU TWO DO?! I DON'T REMEMBER ENTERING ANY FUCKIN' DRAWING!!!" Nny screamed at the top of his lungs not even worrying that the man outside would probably hear him.

"Weeelllll, we thought it would be nice for us to all take a relaxing trip to Hollywood. You know, see the sights, laugh at all the people who think they're celebrities but actually aren't," Mr. Eff explained.

"No! We are NOT going!!!"

"Hey it'll be fun! It will give you a chance to unwind and possibly do some sightseeing, you know? And you get to bring three others! That means you can bring along the ugly, filthy rabbit of yours too! It'll be great!" D-boy said.

Nny continued to glare at the two Doughboys with hate in his eyes. He began to think about the trip. Maybe it was worth reconsidering?

"Just how badly do you two want to go?" Nny asked thoughtfully.

"Oh, we want to go dearly!"

"Yeah! If we had really did have hearts, you would be breaking them by saying no!"

"Errrr…I don't know…weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll…"

"Well…?"

Nny stroked his chin as he continued to think about it. A few moments passed and Johnny let out an exasperated sigh. He opened the door and faced the creepy, happy man once more. He still had the weird smile on his face.

"Alright, after thinking about it, I guess I'll go." Nny said half-heartedly.

"Great!!"

"When do I leave?"

"Well now if you would like!"

"Alright…"

Nny turned around and saw the two excited Doughboys prancing around in excitement. They had even packed up Nny's sharp belonging in his backpack for him. He grabbed the backpack and walked out. The two Doughboys stood at the door readily.

"Where do you think you two are going?" Nny asked angrily.

"With you, of course! We were the ones who entered you in the drawing! So we're coming!" Mr. Eff yelled back.

"Well it was in _my_name therefore _I_ get to choose who comes with me! And guess what!! YOU TWO AREN'T INVITED!!!"

Nny slammed the door shut.

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Yay! Wasn't that fun?!?! Uhhh…yeahhhh… 


	2. Chapter 2

Here we go...second chapter. Wish me luck!!! Johnny and all his friends do not belong to me, they belong to Jhonen Vasquez.

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Johnny stared at Squee anticipating his answer. The little boy sat on his bed clutching his bear trying not to make eye contact with the tall figure standing over him. He looked just as terrified as always.

"Don't worry Squee! I'll take good care of you while you're gone from here. A nice vacation is all you need. And this would be the perfect chance," Nny reassured.

"I don't know…Shmee says that going would be a bad idea," Squee replied timidly.

"That lint-infested cottonball knows nothing!! NOTHING!!!"

"…I don't think I should go to Hollywood."

"Ok, fine you can bring Shmee with you. Both he and I will protect you. How does that sound, hm?"

"…squeeeee…" Squee, er, squeeed, quietly to himself.

"Well I'll take that as a yes! Good! Let's go!" Nny said excitedly as he picked up Squee's backpack and packed it for him. Nny ran back and forth finding things to fill the bag with and little Todd sat there unsure of what to say so he held Shmee tighter.

"Well, at least it means I don't have to go to school, huh Shmee," Squee finally said to his teddy bear.

The next place Johnny found himself was somewhere he never expected himself to ever be. In front on Devi's apartment door. There was yelling coming behind the locked door.

"I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE THE FUCKIN' NERVE YOU HAVE COMING HERE AND ASKING ME IF I WANT TO GO TO HOLLYWOOD WITH YOU!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD AGREE TO THAT AFTER THE LAST STUNT YOU PULLED??" Devi screamed in fury from behind the door.

"Devi, please, I just don't know what to say anymore. If you could only understand the deepest regret I have for what I did and the true sincerity when I say I'm sorry. What I did before what wrong and impolite. I promise that I will never do anything like that. Just give me a chance…please?" Johnny pleaded. He wanted Devi to come with him most of all.

"Um, Mr. Scary Neighbor Man? What is it that you did that made her so mad?" Squee asked as he sat back against the wall.

"Oh, I, uh, tried to kill her," Johnny answered.

Squee's eyes widened to the size almost larger than his head. Quite suddenly he felt that running back home would be a brilliant idea. But there was no way he could do that since he had no idea where he was, so Squee backed up even closer to the wall and hid his scared face with his dusty bear.

"Johnny?" Devi began. "Who the hell is out there with you? Is it one of your murder buddies you've brought along to help?"

"No, never! This is my best friend Squee! You'd really like him! He's really nice. You could get to know him and his teddy bear friend if you come…"

"Teddy bear…? YOU BROUGHT A CHILD ALONG WITH YOU?!?!" Devi screeched.

"Well, I couldn't leave him. Squee is the bestest friend I have…" Nny said uncomfortably to the door.

Suddenly he could hear rushed footsteps running back and forth from behind the door. He wondered what Devi was doing back there. Then the footsteps reached the front and the door quickly bolted open with full force and before Nny could tell what hit something…something really _did_ hit him. It threw him back against the wall and he heard Squee freaking out. Nny felt the pain go up his back, but tried to stand up anyways. The impact left him a bit woozy. The rubbed his head and opened his eyes to see that a bulging huge bag is what had hit him, probably thrown by Devi, he reasoned. Devi stood that the front of her door wearing a very furious, almost deadly, look. Even _if _Nny had planned to kill her, he would have had to rethink it because he looked almost homicidal herself. She stomped over to Nny and stared straight into his face.

"There's no way in hell I am letting a little kid go with you alone to Hollywood!! So listen, I am going but this is in _NO_ way forgiveness for what you did!!! So you don't lay even a FINGER on me or that kid, GOT IT?! And if you do, I swear I will hurt you more than you could ever hurt me! I am NOT afraid of you Johnny!" Devi screamed into Johnny's face. Johnny, for the most part, was now terrified of her.

"…I, uh, like your hair…"

Devi pulled away and quite suddenly her rage melted away and she smiled at the little boy who had been cowered up against the wall. She kneeled down to his level and began.

"Hi Squee, I'm Devi. Don't worry about Johnny. I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you. I'll be sure to protect you from this creep."

She stood up and frowned at Nny. He stood against the wall unsure of how to react against the renegade woman. Devi lifted her head as if noticing some sort of change in the atmosphere. She took a step back and looked up and down the aisle worriedly.

"Let's leave. Right now," Devi demanded.

Nny picked up Devi's heavy luggage and prompted Squee to stand up and start walking with them. Devi was walking ahead of them at a quick pace as if trying to get out of the apartment complex before something bad happened.

"Will you two hurry up?" Devi rushed.

"Will you slow down?" Nny said in a tired tone. "You're not the one carrying a giant luggage bag. What do you have in here, anyways? Ten dead bodies?"

"Oh yes, I killed them just for you as a gift," Devi retorted as she looked behind to shoulder to give Nny a dirty look.

Nny slowed down.

"Hey, I hear squeaking. Or is that just me?"

"Fuck…run dammit, run!!" Devi yelled as she broke into full running.

She rushed down the stairs as fast as possible hoping that the other two were also right behind her. She could hear the squeaking getting louder and beckoned for Nny and Squee to hurry it up. Finally the front apartment door was in sight but just as they reached it, someone Johnny did not know jump seemingly out of nowhere and blocked the exit.

"DEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!" the unknown black woman yelled happily as she threw her arms around Devi. Devi did not return the hug.

"Hi Tenna."

"Watcha doing???" Tenna asked curiously as she unfolded her arms from around Devi.

Devi sighed.

"I'm going to be gone for a few days."

"What?? But…Spooky will miss you! You can't hurt Spooky like that!"

"I reeaaaallly don't think Spooky is doing to have a total breakdown if I go. Hey, wait, why are you carrying a packed bag with you…? Tenna…?" Devi grew suspicious. "You're not planning to come, right?"

"Devi! Of course I'm coming! We're inseparable! You can't go to Hollywood without me! We're like a spork! You can be the spoon and I'm the fork! We're nothing without each other!" Tenna beckoned.

"Hey, how did you know I was going to Hollywood?"

"A little Spooky passed the news onto me," Tenna said.

Devi glared down at the squeak toy in Tenna's hand that was now squeaking away annoyingly. Devi sighed once more. She actually would enjoy Tenna for company along the way and maybe later on they would both beat up Johnny together. She looked back at Nny who was observing the scene strangely. Johnny saw noticed Devi's pleading look and he knew what she meant. He nodded.

"Well alright Tenna but don't give me a reason to kill you while we're there," Devi said smiling.

"Yay!"

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Reviews, anyone:) 


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't think I was going to continue this story, but the few of you who said you wanted to read more changed my mind. Oh and also I had nothing better to do. So here we go! Brought back from the dead! Sorry for taking so long. Hopefully I won't take so long on the next chapter.

I don't own Johnny and all his fun-filled friends. Jhonen Vasquez does.

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The story so far according to Johnny: I'm fuckin' going to get those Doughboys for this! Now I have to deal with some stupid trip to Hollywood! At least I was lucky enough to get Devi to come along. I missed her so much. And spending time with Squee is fun too. I'm scared of this girl Tenna though. I think I'll steal Spooky and hold that damn toy hostage to shut her up.

The four of them were crammed into the backseat of the taxi and Nny wanted nothing more than to be back at home sitting on the floor writing down his thoughts, even if it meant being around the Doughboys. Devi had made Tenna sit in between them and he was sick of her naming every single sign she saw. At least in the taxi she didn't have peanuts or hot drinks that she could spill on him like on the plane.

Nny shuddered.

The place looked terrible. Everyone outside seemed like a copy of each other. Everyone looked as if they were trying to be movie stars or something. They looked so fake behind their heavy make-up and vintage clothing. If only some sense could hit them like a knife. Devi was sitting at the other window by Squee and she also seemed to be unhappy at the sights. People…just more people…

_I guess people are hideous shits wrapped in skin everywhere, no matter where you go_, Nny thought to himself.

He sighed and continued to stare out the window hoping to catch a glimpse of something that might put a smile on his face. The two hobos fighting over a sandwich on the street corner sure did it.

"And now what?" Devi asked sitting inside the hotel room unpacking her things. "What are we supposed to do here?"

"I don't know. But it's a nice night out. Maybe I'll go take a walk or something," Nny replied.

"Well why don't we walk somewhere and find a place for all of us to eat? I'm sure Squee is probably hungry by now," Devi said nodding her head towards the room connected to theirs where Squee and Tenna were both watching tv.

Before Nny could reply to that, there was a knock at the door. Both Devi and Nny turned to the door in a surprised manner. Nny took cautious steps toward it and looked through the small hole to see who it was. The large plastic smile seemed to take up the whole viewing hole. Nny pulled back in disgust. That creepy happy smile would haunt him. He opened the door to see the same man who had came to his house before.

"…yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees? May I help you?" Johnny greeted in a not so greeting tone.

"Oh! It's you!"

"Yeah, it's me," Nny replied blankly.

"I see you brought along your _specific other_ on this trip," the man said smiling and winking as he elbowed Nny in a hinting manner.

Devi glared at the man and for an instant felt like charging him against the wall for ever assuming _anything _of her and Nny. He continued not noticing her glare.

"Well here I have some brochures for you and places you can check out around here. There is a great selection of restaurants here and plenty of nightlife so you'll never be bored! And included in your trip is a free dinner for the four of you to go eat at _Le Restaurant_!"

"Sounds, uh, greaaaaaaaat."

"Well have good time on your stay here and-"

Nny slammed the door and turned back to Devi.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Devi asked in a frustrated tone.

"That man won't ever know what stabbed him," Nny said angrily.

"Good."

"Who was that? It sounded like one of those overexcited people on those commercials trying to sell stuff," Tenna said popping her head in.

"No, no it was just someone who really deserves to get run-over. Anyways, we found a place to go eat so get ready," Devi said.

"Ooooo where?!"

"Apparently some overexpensive place called _Le Restaurant_."

"Sounds like really bad French."

"My thoughts exactly."

"Welcome to _Le Restaurant_!"

Nny, Squee, Devi, and Tenna all stood beside each other staring at the overly-friendly waiters in sheer horror, well maybe except Tenna who was too busy giggling about how funny some of the French words sounded.

The four of them were sat at a table and they quickly set to finding something to eat. Unlucky for them, they couldn't read the menu.

"I don't get it!! And neither does Spooky! Devi?"

"Er…Nny?"

"Uh…"

And all at once they stared at little Squee.

"Squee?" they all said in unison.

The little boy merely looked at all of them in confusion and sunk lower into his seat. He whimpered and wished that everyone would stop looking at him. Devi pulled back and slammed down her menu in frustration.

"This place is stupid!" she yelled and folded her arms.

"What do you mean?! Just pick anything. I can read it just perfectly. So can Spooky," Tenna said with a big grin.

"Tenna, that's a tourist brochure you're holding, not a menu," Devi said in a cold voice.

"…Oh."

Nny grew restless not because he had no idea what anything said, but because he was sitting in a large room filled with many people Nny already knew he would dislike. He picked up the dinner knife sitting next to his fork and began to spin it between his fingers. It made him feel more comfortable yet it also seemed to spur open a horrible part of him. Devi noticed this at once from the corner of her eye and became suddenly tense. She shifted a little in her seat, but tried to hide it.

A few seconds of utter silence passed and Tenna burst out with random excitement.

"Devi! Devi! Look over there! Outside!" Tenna laughed and pointed.

Devi turned to see where Tenna's finger was indicating. Devi looked out the window and saw a group of movie characters. Devi's eyes drooped at the sight of the terribly played characters, but despite the terrible costumes, people were flocking around the group asking for pictures. Tourists, no doubt.

"Devi! Look! Batman, Spider-man, that Transformer guy, Spongebob, Jack Sparrow, and even that Joker guy! Wow! You think that's really them?" Tenna asked excitedly.

"Tenna, those are just some lifeless nobodys in costume that this city probably hired to use as a tourist attraction. They probably charge you just to take a picture with one of them," Devi replied curtly.

"Wow! You think I can take a picture with one of them?! Hey Squee you want to go take a picture with one of those characters? Look! They even have a Barney there!"

Squee peered over at all the people in costumes and immediately let out a terrified squeal. They looked like horribly malformed versions of their true counterparts. And he especially did not want to get near the giant evil purple reptile either. But before Squee could make an argument against it, not that he would anyways, Tenna grabbed his small hand and pulled him ahead. She skipped out of the restaurant and Devi saw her become an addition to the gathering crowd of excited tourists.

Devi sighed and looked down at her menu even though she still could not read any of it. Her lowered eyes traveled away from her menu and over at Nny's hand which laid idly on the table. She followed his hand upward until she was finally looking straight at Nny. His eyes hid such a sad expression that Devi wanted to ask him if anything was wrong. Of course that would have displayed concern on Devi's part and therefore care, which was something Devi was not willing to show Nny anytime soon.

A wave of discomfort was rushing between them. Devi, though still angry at Nny for his unforgivable attempt to kill her, would not stand for her night to be wasted like this. She closed her eyes, took a breath, and tried finally uttering some words that could help in getting a casual conversation going.

"So, uh, how have you-"

"I did not mean to hurt you Devi," Nny said bluntly.

_So much for attempting a comfortable conversation_, Devi thought.

"Really Johnny, you expect me to believe that coming at me with a knife was a sign of romance?" Devi asked smoothly.

"It wasn't a decision made by me! I was tricked! I swear I was!"

"So you're saying it was someone else who wanted me dead? Tell me then. Who tricked you?" Devi's voice now reaching a higher decibel.

"It was the Doughboys."

"Who the fuck are the Doughboys?"

"They are…"

"They are…what?"

Johnny bit his lip. He did not want Devi thinking he was insane, but that seemed inevitable now.

"They are voices."

"Johnny…" she stopped in a loss for words. "You're insane."

"No…no I'm not. Well…I don't know, I might be. But that is far from the point!"

"What is the point then!? What are you trying to tell me here that I am so blindly missing?!" Devi yelled. By this time the whole restaurant was leaning in to hear what the argument was all about.

"Devi I want you to forgive me!!" He paused to calm himself down. "I want you to forget what happened…so that maybe I can do this over properly."

Devi looked into his eyes and saw that cold spark of sadness again. She knew she should feel remorse. But that is only what she knew she should have felt…Her true feelings at that moment felt a little different.

"Forgive and forget. That is what you want. Geez Johnny! I feel as if I'm in one of those God awful teenage drama shows!" Devi yelled throwing her hands up in the air for dramatic effect.

She got up from her chair, gave Nny the most vicious, gruesome glare she could muster, and stormed out of the dining area to the bathroom. She walked angrily ignoring the stares and glances her way. The last thing she heard before disappearing into the bathroom was a man's whispered comment to his wife "That noodle man sure has a wacky haircut, doesn't he?"

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Woo!! Exciting, huh?! Heyyy I have a CRAZY idea! How about reviewing this?! EH EH EH?! Whatever.


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